Disgusting

I really didn't need to see this over at Good Sir Jimbo's place. Not because of anything Jimbo did, but for what it represents.

It's good to know that the Obamessiah is so proud of being an American, and the representative of our nation.

Fuckhead.

Caturday

There are as many approached to cat ownership (this is, being owned BY the cat) as there are cat/human combinations. For good or ill, there's always....

The Engineering Approach.

Are you bugged?

For you folks that are still using Microsoft Windows (spit!), there's a convenient way to get some idea of whether or not you have the Computer Nasty of the Month -- i.e. the Conficker virus/worm.

It's being called an "eye chart", and simply tries to download images from some of the antivirus sites that Conficker is known to block; if you get the images, either you don't have Conficker, or it isn't working the way it's supposed to on your system.

As a helpful gesture toward any Windows users out there, you can check it out yourself; alternatively, you can send me an email with your snailmail address, and I'll be glad to send you a FREE Linux "live" CD so you can try out something that will give back control of your computer. The "live" CD will NOT harm anything on your Windows system, since everything on it runs from the CD -- it doesn't install anything on your hard drive unless you explicitly tell it to.

Lies, damn lies, and statistics

You know that statistic that 90% of the weapons in Mexico's drug wars are from the U.S.?

Well, it turns out that maybe that was just a wee bit over-stated.

In fact, the truth of the matter is almost exactly the reverse: 83% of the weapons seized in Mexico can't be traced back to the U.S:

In 2007-2008, according to ATF Special Agent William Newell, Mexico submitted 11,000 guns to the ATF for tracing. Close to 6,000 were successfully traced -- and of those, 90 percent -- 5,114 to be exact, according to testimony in Congress by William Hoover -- were found to have come from the U.S.

But in those same two years, according to the Mexican government, 29,000 guns were recovered at crime scenes.

In other words, 68 percent of the guns that were recovered were never submitted for tracing. And when you weed out the roughly 6,000 guns that could not be traced from the remaining 32 percent, it means 83 percent of the guns found at crime scenes in Mexico could not be traced to the U.S.

Where ARE they coming from?

-- The Black Market. Mexico is a virtual arms bazaar, with fragmentation grenades from South Korea, AK-47s from China, and shoulder-fired rocket launchers from Spain, Israel and former Soviet bloc manufacturers.
-- Russian crime organizations. Interpol says Russian Mafia groups such as Poldolskaya and Moscow-based Solntsevskaya are actively trafficking drugs and arms in Mexico.
- South America. During the late 1990s, the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) established a clandestine arms smuggling and drug trafficking partnership with the Tijuana cartel, according to the Federal Research Division report from the Library of Congress.
-- Asia. According to a 2006 Amnesty International Report, China has provided arms to countries in Asia, Africa and Latin America. Chinese assault weapons and Korean explosives have been recovered in Mexico.
-- The Mexican Army. More than 150,000 soldiers deserted in the last six years, according to Mexican Congressman Robert Badillo. Many took their weapons with them, including the standard issue M-16 assault rifle made in Belgium.
-- Guatemala. U.S. intelligence agencies say traffickers move immigrants, stolen cars, guns and drugs, including most of America's cocaine, along the porous Mexican-Guatemalan border. On March 27, La Hora, a Guatemalan newspaper, reported that police seized 500 grenades and a load of AK-47s on the border. Police say the cache was transported by a Mexican drug cartel operating out of Ixcan, a border town.

Whoops.

Seriously screwed up legal system...

Is this bullshit, or what?

Seems a 59-year-old retired city bus driver, confined to a wheelchair, plugged a would-be mugger with a .357 -- and is now being sued by him for $5 million.

Margaret Johnson, 59, described as "a retired city bus driver who has a dislocated hip and a ruptured disc", was sitting in her motorised mobility scooter in September 2006 when Deron Johnson, 48, "tried to snatch her purse and gold chain".

This turned out to be a bad move, since Ms Johnson's grandfather was Harlem crime boss Ellsworth “Bumpy” Johnson, a no-messing-about character who once battled with fellow gangster Dutch Shultz for control of the Harlem numbers racket.

After the would-be mugger got off (claiming he was defending himself from her Shih Tzu -- we all know how vicious those damn things are...)

Mr Johnson is, as is the local custom, now suing granny and her apartment block landlord for the aforementioned five million bucks. His lawyer, Craig Davidowitz, claims he's "suffered permanent nerve damage from the shooting".

My favorite part of the story is

Margaret Johnson, though, is having none of it. She sensationally explained to the New York Post: "I'm a peaceful person. I wish that I had killed him. I didn't think you had to pay to get mugged in New York City."

As an added bonus attraction, the linked article has a link to a NY Post picture of her posing with a farookin Uzi she previously owned. Go Granny!

Solution found!

You know those inconsiderate jackasses that like to park so that their vehicle takes up two parking spaces? Here's one possible solution:



You know, I really like this idea...

Late Caturday

Okay, so this is a little late for Caturday. So sue me ('cept you, Jimbo -- please don't!).

Making my day...

I just had an experience that made my day -- if not the entire week...

My doorbell rang a minute ago, and when I answered the door, I found a team of 3 women outside. When they asked how I was, I told them I was fine, and one of them tried to hand me a brochure as she told me they were from one of the local Baptist churches.

I gave her a Look (I have a little sign on my door telling people to go away if they don't know me by name - and explicitly includes religious groups) before telling her and her companions "If I was interested in finding Jesus, I'd already be doing it. Now fuck off and leave me alone."

Needless to say, they got horrified and offended before I slammed the door in their faces.

Rhetorical question: what is it with hard-core religious types that they can't just leave people alone?

'nuf said...

Thirty things meme

By way of LeeAnn:

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Yes, on several occasions, for a variety of reasons -- some of which I may reveal some day.

2. Do you close your eyes on a roller coaster?
No. Otherwise, what's the point of riding it?

3. When’s the last time you’ve been sledging?
It's been twenty years, if you count inner-tubing; over 40 if you're talking actual sled(g)e.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Depends on who.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Not until one kicks me in the ass.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Yes, in an Engineering sort of way; artistic, not bloody likely.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Is a bear Catholic? Does the Pope shit in the woods?

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Jennifer, at the slightest provocation.

9. Can you honestly say you know anything about politics?
Yes. Worse, I know how it's supposed to work, versus how it DOES "work".

10. Do you know how to play poker?
A couple of kinds. Not very good at it, but I can play.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Dear god, yes. Even managed 72 a couple of times. It's amazing the places your mind will go when it's running purely on caffeine and adrenaline.

12. What’s your favorite commercial?
I like the CapitolOne barbarians series.


13. Who was your first love?
Teresa - a friends sister, when I was in 6th grade.

14. If you’re driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
Nope -- not just because a cop might see it, but because I don't trust my fellow man that much.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Several.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Who gives a rat's ass?

17. Have you ever been ice skating?
Yes, for periods lasting anywhere between five and ten seconds at a time. The rest of the time, I was checking the temperature of the rink with my ass.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Seldom -- and when I do, I rather wish I didn't.

19. What’s the one thing on your mind?
Frequently wondering what the hell happened to the idea of basic courtesy between people.

20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Yup. In fact, I belt up before I even start the car.

21. What talent do you wish you had?
If you mean "mortal" talent, I wish my memory was better. If you're asking about special powers (a la X-Men), it'd be teleportation.

22. Do you like sushi?
Sometimes, but not often.

23. What do you wear to bed?
A smile.

24. Do you truly hate anyone?
You betcha. The only think keeping that motherfucker alive and in good health is my self-restraint.

25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
For sleeping, I guess it wouldn't matter. For any nocturnal activities, I'd go with Mary Steenbergen or Hillary Swank.

26. Do you know anyone in jail?
Yup. I'm sorry he's there, but that's where he needs to be.

27. What food do you find disgusting?
Tofu.

28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Only after I've made fun of them to their front.

29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yup. Tough to get through five years of the Navy and multiple bar fights without it.

30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
As supernatural beings, no; that there are Human Beans at the extremes of conduct, yes.