Off the grid

First, The News: I've suffered multiple catastrophic hardware failures, and am uncertain when I will be able to resume quasi-regular posting. I hope it'll be in a week or so when a friend is able to let me borrow an (old, antique) laptop, but no promises express or implied.

Since my last post, however, I've had the adventure of making one of my infrequent (and very reluctant) forays into Wal*Mars. While there, I was tooling down one of the aisles when a couple of standard hippo-hipped Wal*Martians pulled out in front of me and opted to simply STOP in the aisle so they could exchange weight-gaining tips. I, trying to be polite, said "Excuse me...", only to be ignored. A second, louder, attempt got one of them to turn her head and suggest "Why don't you just go around?"

Annoyed, I responded with "Going around that ass of yours would put me in a different time zone, and it's too much trouble to adjust my watch..."

That earned me a Hateful Look (hurt my feelings terribly), and an outraged snort (I swear I could feel the air move) before the two of them lumbered down a sub-aisle. As I went by, one of them muttered something about rude assholes. Must've been talking to herself, I guess....

Some people's kids...

I've had several instances of some Chinese-speaking dildo leaving bullshit comments in Chinese on some of my posts. Rather than having to go in and delete the crap, I've marginally increased the security on comments here - you'll either have to be registered (BTFOM what that means, right now) or have an "OpenID".

If you comment, but don't see it right away, be patient - I'll register you (if necessary) so you won't have to fart around with it in the future.

You'll also notice some Chinese writing on the leave-a-comment section; basically, it tells the little fuckwad Commie assmunches to stop leaving their bullshit in my comments.

Conversation at the grocery store

My local Albertson's is doing what they call a "reset" -- that is, shuffling pretty much everything in the store around to a New! Improved! location. To give you an idea just how fucked up the place is right now, they've got all the greeting cards lined up on pallets in the middle of the frozen foods section.

I went in a while ago to buy a few things, and couldn't find half the stuff I was looking for. Not being inclined to go on a scavenger hunt just to buy groceries, I just collected the shit I could find and made my way to the register. There I had the following conversation with the checker:

Checker: "Thank you for shopping Albertson's. Did you find everything you were looking for?"

Me: "Well, as a matter of fact, no, I didn't. I've only got about half of what I came in for."

C: "I'm sorry. Can I get someone to help you find things?"

M: "Only if they're going to put it back where it was."

C: "..."

M: "Look, I know y'all are doing this because some pinhead marketing drone at corporate told you to, figuring people would buy more on impulse when they see stuff they hadn't noticed before. That probably even works on some folks. For the rest of us, shuffling stuff around like you are just aggravates us, and makes us go someplace where we can find what we're looking for."

C: "Well it also reminds people of things that they meant to buy, but forgot until they see it on the shelves."

M: "Good for them... but I'm still annoyed that I couldn't find what I was after -- so I'll be going to Wal*Mart from here 'cause I know where stuff is there."

C: "I hear that Wal*Mart is going to be redecorating, too -- a lot of stores are, now."

M: "Maybe so -- but I'll bet that when they're done, the stuff will still be in the same places; they don't rearrange things just for the hell of it like Albertson's does."

C: "..."

By that point, she'd rung up my (single) bag of stuff; I paid for it and left. For Wal*Mart, where I easily found the rest of the groceries I was after.

Secrets of High Technology

Just had an "interesting" experience:

Got a call from someone that turned out to be a wrong number.

Fine, no biggie, it happens. But what does the shipdit that made it do?

How about hit "redial" on their phone, thinking that they'll get the number they wanted, and not the number they actually dialed? The mooron actually ASKED me why their 'redial' didn't work right...

Proving once again that there are people who's ancestors shouldn't have come down out of the trees...

Wal*Mart spreads H1N1

Really.

"... employees of the Arkansas-based retail giant -- even its food handlers -- feel they have no choice but to work when they're sick. That's because the company gives workers demerits and deducts pay for staying home when they're sick or caring for sick children."

I think it might be a good idea to do your shopping in Real Stores for a while, folks...

Multitasking

Here's why you shouldn't (at least while driving)




I mean, just so you know...

Lies, damn lies, and statistics

You know that statistic that 90% of the weapons in Mexico's drug wars are from the U.S.?

Well, it turns out that maybe that was just a wee bit over-stated.

In fact, the truth of the matter is almost exactly the reverse: 83% of the weapons seized in Mexico can't be traced back to the U.S:

In 2007-2008, according to ATF Special Agent William Newell, Mexico submitted 11,000 guns to the ATF for tracing. Close to 6,000 were successfully traced -- and of those, 90 percent -- 5,114 to be exact, according to testimony in Congress by William Hoover -- were found to have come from the U.S.

But in those same two years, according to the Mexican government, 29,000 guns were recovered at crime scenes.

In other words, 68 percent of the guns that were recovered were never submitted for tracing. And when you weed out the roughly 6,000 guns that could not be traced from the remaining 32 percent, it means 83 percent of the guns found at crime scenes in Mexico could not be traced to the U.S.

Where ARE they coming from?

-- The Black Market. Mexico is a virtual arms bazaar, with fragmentation grenades from South Korea, AK-47s from China, and shoulder-fired rocket launchers from Spain, Israel and former Soviet bloc manufacturers.
-- Russian crime organizations. Interpol says Russian Mafia groups such as Poldolskaya and Moscow-based Solntsevskaya are actively trafficking drugs and arms in Mexico.
- South America. During the late 1990s, the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) established a clandestine arms smuggling and drug trafficking partnership with the Tijuana cartel, according to the Federal Research Division report from the Library of Congress.
-- Asia. According to a 2006 Amnesty International Report, China has provided arms to countries in Asia, Africa and Latin America. Chinese assault weapons and Korean explosives have been recovered in Mexico.
-- The Mexican Army. More than 150,000 soldiers deserted in the last six years, according to Mexican Congressman Robert Badillo. Many took their weapons with them, including the standard issue M-16 assault rifle made in Belgium.
-- Guatemala. U.S. intelligence agencies say traffickers move immigrants, stolen cars, guns and drugs, including most of America's cocaine, along the porous Mexican-Guatemalan border. On March 27, La Hora, a Guatemalan newspaper, reported that police seized 500 grenades and a load of AK-47s on the border. Police say the cache was transported by a Mexican drug cartel operating out of Ixcan, a border town.

Whoops.

Making my day...

I just had an experience that made my day -- if not the entire week...

My doorbell rang a minute ago, and when I answered the door, I found a team of 3 women outside. When they asked how I was, I told them I was fine, and one of them tried to hand me a brochure as she told me they were from one of the local Baptist churches.

I gave her a Look (I have a little sign on my door telling people to go away if they don't know me by name - and explicitly includes religious groups) before telling her and her companions "If I was interested in finding Jesus, I'd already be doing it. Now fuck off and leave me alone."

Needless to say, they got horrified and offended before I slammed the door in their faces.

Rhetorical question: what is it with hard-core religious types that they can't just leave people alone?

Stupid is as Stupid does...

Here's one for you:

A Colonial "theme" park has a couple of people that operate the mules that pull a barge along a closed-off two mile stretch of canal. The canal doesn't get anywhere even close to anything even vaguely sensitive like a nuke power plant, military base, or anything like that.

So what does the TSA demand? Biometric ID for the muleskinners, under the claim that everybody with any kind of Coast Guard license (the 'skinners have to have one because of the boat) has to have the background check necessary to get the I.D.

Now, you tell me -- does THIS look all that dangerous?



Best line of the article? Has to be this:

... the mules could be considered weapons of mass destruction only if they were aimed at something resembling food.

Ya gotta love it...

Klewless

See, this is why I named my blog the way I did...

Got a call a little bit ago from the moorons at the Census. Seems that me simply claiming (by writing in BIG RED LETTERS on the front of it) religious exemption from answering their questions wasn't enough. They "had" to call, and explicityly ask me each and every farookin' question on the survey, and then take my verbal response (which was probably politer and less profane that I should have made it).

So, after verifying the basics that I'd filled in on the front of the damn thing, we had to go through the rest of it. After the first time I responded with "I decline to answer that question on religous grounds.", it was sufficient for me to simply reply "Decline" to the rest of them -- all eleventy hundred of them (or so it seemed).

And then the dipshits wonder why Government is held in such low regard...

And if THAT isn't enough...

Courtesy of The Register ("Biting the hand that feeds IT"), here's some more good news:

Infections as a result of the infamous Conficker (Downadup) worm have peaked at around the 10m PC mark.

Variants of Conficker use a variety of methods to spread, including exploiting the MS08-067 vulnerability in the Microsoft Windows server service patched by Redmond in October. Once it gets a foothold within corporate networks, Conficker is programmed to spread across local area networks. The worm also spreads between infected USB sticks and Windows PCs.

Compromised Windows PCs are turned into drones in a botnet, programmed to phone home through a changing series of servers. It's this latter behaviour that has allowed F-secure to track the progress of the worm over the last two weeks or so. Its latest educated guess of the size of the botnet is 10m strong as of Friday, 23 January, 1m up on the 9 million of the week before.

Thank you, Microsoft.

With a hat tip to the Constitution Club, I present you the Children of Hamas:



freakin' dooshbags...

Disenfranchisement

One of the cornerstones of American democracy is that pretty much everyone is allowed to exercise their voting franchise.

Of course, there are those of us that wonder about the sense and rationality of some of the folks on the 'other side' of an issue, but we generally don't limit the right to vote except for the insane, mentally impaired, or felony criminals.

I would suggest that we, as a nation, consider changing that policy for the simple reason that there are (unfortunately) those that do not exercise their voting rights in a reasoned, thoughtful manner: those that latch onto a particular issue (to the exclusion of everything else) to decide how their vote should be cast, and the folks that don't bother to keep up with the assorted issues brought up by the candidates and thus enter the polling booth ignorant as newborn babes.

Then there are those people that see only one aspect of a particular candidate to the exclusion of everything else. Finally, there are those individuals such as the author of this disjointed, rambling gibberish.

Consider that the missive in question was a letter to the editor: the author had ample time to think through what he wanted to say and how to say it -- and yet still produced and submitted that kind of drivel. While it is possible to make out what the individual was trying to say, does anyone really think that it benefits our political process to allow someone like that to actually cast a ballot?Are we to believe that the kind of mind (and I do use the term loosely in this case) that produced that is going to be capable of distinguishing the subtleties and implications of political discourse?

No, I think our nations founders were being wildly optimistic to make the voting franchise as easily exercised as they did -- and that it's time we correct that oversight.

Delusions of Competency

More and more, I'm starting to think that people should have to be tested for competency before they're allowed to use different kinds of technology.

What I mean is that before someone is issued, say, a debit or ATM card that requires them to use something like the little terminals in the grocery store, there should be some way of ensuring that the individual actually knows how to use the card before being turned loose on an unsuspecting public. If they can't demonstrate competency, they simply aren't given it in the first place.

I bring this up because a couple of days ago, I was in line (yes, at the grocery store) behind someone that wanted to use a debit/credit card of some kind to pay for their stuff. The problem was that the person basically had no idea how to do it: first, they ran the card through the reader the wrong way no less than 3 times, then had to have it explained to them which button to push for their particular card (after they guessed wrong TWICE), another explanation of what a "PIN" was (followed by much soul-searching as they tried to recall what it was), and ending with being told that they also had to press another button to actually approve the debit. All in all, what should have been perhaps 30 seconds ended up occupying a good five minutes. Throughout it all, the clerk demonstrated an inordinate level of patience and tolerance; I'd have been tempted to tell the moron to give up and go home.

Similarly, I've been behind people at an ATM who act like it's the first time in their entire life that they've encountered such a thing: that all the menus and other on-screen information is in a foreign language, and that each press of a button results in the machine doing anything BUT what they want it to -- so that they have to completely stop what they're doing and try it again (perhaps even a couple of times) from scratch while the line builds behind them.

As part of the 'licensing' process, there would be a probationary period after someone gets a particular bit of technical equipment -- the idea being that they not only have to demonstrate they know HOW to operate it, but WHEN, as well: an induhvidual using their shiny new cell phone in a theater gets the phone taken away for a period equal to the probationary period, for example.

I don't think it'll ever happen, but I can always dream, can't I?

Why, yes, I AM an asshole...

Of late, I've been getting phone calls for someone whose phone number is similar (off by 1 digit) to mine. Thing is, the phone calls are from a credit collection agency, and (to their credit) they're persistent buggers.

The first few times, I tried -- patiently -- to explain to them that they had the wrong person/phone, but they seem to have taken the attitude that I'm simply lying to them: that I'm actually the person they're trying to reach.

As the calls have continued, I've gotten more and more enthusiastic about letting them know that I'm not the right person; they remain unconvinced.

At least, I think, until this morning.

Shortly after 10:00, I got another call from the putzes asking to speak to Mr. H_____. Having finally had enough of their nonsense, I calmly (but pointedly, profanely, and insultingly) began to let the person on the other end know what I thought of him, his company, collection agencies, and so on. When I was done, he tried to complain that I shouldn't be speaking to him that way -- that he was simply trying to collect a debt that was willingly incurred, and that the company that was owed the money deserved to be paid.

I responded (remaining rude, profane, and insulting) that that was all well and good, IF they were calling the person that actually owed the money; but that since they weren't, and had thus far refused to correct their error, I was entitled to address them in any manner I wished -- and that I would not only continue, but get even worse as long as they continued calling me.

At that point, a stupidvisor got on the line, and tried to give me a ration of shit about how and what I was saying. Bad move on her part.

I demonstrated to her, in no uncertain terms, that she was wrong: not only could I be more offensive and disgusting toward them, but that I would. I finished my little spiel by asking her what her job title was. After a bit of confusion, she managed to tell me that she was a "Debt Collection Specialist". I responded by asking her if she'd ever considered going into another line of work -- one with more status and prestige. Cautiously, she asked what I meant, and I calmly suggested that she might consider a career change to something like prostitution or dealing drugs.

After several seconds, SHE hung up on ME. :-)

We'll see if there are any more calls from the idiot jackasses.

NIMBY

Want to know why the prices on various oil-derived products keep going up?

It isn't just the price of crude.

It's the fact that the U.S. hasn't built a new oil refinery in 30+ years. That means that no matter how much oil we import, it can only be converted to gasoline, diesel, fuel oil, and such so fast.

And why haven't we built a refinery for so long? Take a wild guess.

Anybody want to take bets that these folks are bitching just as hard as anyone else about high fuel prices when reporters aren't around?

Me vs. U.S. Census

In yesterdays mail, I got a personal letter from the dipshit that has been trying to get me to answer his goofy-ass Census Bureau questions -- this despite the fact that every time the twit turned up at my door, I was rude to him, and refused to respond to any of his other messages. You'd think that a reasonable person would get the hint; but this gonzo has apparently taken dedication to his job FAR beyond what any rational person would.

So, this afternoon, I contacted the people that are supposed to be supervising him (the Denver Regional Office!!), and let them know -- in no uncertain terms -- that I didn't want to hear from him ever again. I also informed them that if I WAS contacted by him in any size, way, shape, or form, I would file a stalking complaint with the police.

Naturally enough, the dingbats in Denver wanted to know all my particulars; I advised them that if I wanted to pass that information out, I would have answered his questions in the first place -- and, further, that I already had more Government than I needed (or wanted!). As the coup de grace, I suggested that if they REALLY wanted to know anything about me, what I was doing, and so on, that they see if they could get it from one of the government agencies that's involved in monitoring U.S. citizens communications.

Boo farookin' Hoo

Bush: Olympic boycott would insult Chinese

Cry me a farookin' river, willya?

Dubya is going to go witness the farce that will be the opening ceremonies of the Summer Olympics in China.

Yo! Dubya! This is the same China that f*cked up one of our airplanes in International airspace, manipulates its currency to keep its products cheap in the rest of the world, masterminded Tiananmen Square, implemented a draconian one-child policy that includes forced abortions, uses slave labor in factories, doesn't even enforce its own government policies (unless, of course, someone publicly gets caught at it), and has a host of other 'issues'.

And you don't want to insult them? Here's a thought: how about showing them that the U.S. has some principles that we're ready to actually stand for? And that they need our money a WHOLE lot more than we need their fucking doggie chew toys and other cheap-ass crap?

Dickhead.

Return of the DimTwitties

Some may recall that a few months ago, I had a little 'adventure' with the gits from the U.S. Census -- they wanted to know about me, and I didn't want to tell them. The dipstick that kept sending letters, informational brochures, and stopping by in the hope that I'd cooperate finally gave up -- or so I thought.

I've received Official Notification that they're finishing up whatever temporary 'So, how's life been treating you?' metric, and that they'll be visiting again.

Since I didn't tell them anything in the first place, I kinda figured somebody would have had sense enough to remove my address from their list: I mean, they told me the first go around was to set a 'reference' for a second visit that would see how things had changed over the past few months. When I didn't cooperate the first time, that should have pretty much put the kibosh on them coming back -- even if I answered their questions THIS time, they don't have any way of knowing what kind of change those answers represented.

On top of that kind of beaurocratic stupidity, the dipshit that I drew as my contact point decided to be a smart-ass by leaving a 'cute' comment on the paperwork he left on my door while I was out of my apartment. That, in and of itself, was enough to convince me to not only not answer their questions again, but to be rude (and possibly profane) when the jackass turns up again. I'll be making it clear, in no uncertain terms, that not only am I not going to answer any of their questions, but that I'm highly annoyed that they can't/won't take 'NO!' for an answer - and that even if I did answer, I'd respond with an outrageous lie to everything they asked.

Think they'll finally get the hint?

Teh suXXor

Gag. Retch. Bleaaaaaargggggh.

Got a call this evening; when I went to answer the phone, caller ID displayed a 202 area code. WTF?

When I answered, the putz on the other end says he's calling about Hillary Clinton.

Deciding to do my part in preserving Life, Liberty, and The American Way, I readily engaged in a conversation with him -- what with him calling long distance 3/4 of the way across the country, why not piss away some of their campaign funding to no purpose?

I let him run his little spiel, but at every opportunity, made it sound as though I still wasn't sure who I'd vote for. Along the way, I asked a few 'pointed' questions ("This universal healthcare thing... who's gonna pay for it? And HOW?", "If Hillary was just 'tired' when she said that bit about Bosnian snipers, how good is she gonna be when she gets that 3:00 a.m. phone call?", and not settling for generic answers), as well.

All told, I probably managed to fart around with the asshole for half an hour before letting him off the hook -- by telling him something that I suggested elsewhere.

I'm only being half-joking about wanting Ralph Nader for President. Better a complete (and obvious) moonbat like Ralphie Boy than Hillary...