Saturday, May 9, 2009

Blech Support

Much to my dismay, my official Qwest DSL modem went off into the weeds this morning: it shows that I have a DSL connection, but nothing is getting through; nor can I get into it from my network to configure it. After troubleshooting the situation, and determining that it was the modem and not something else, I was obliged to call Qwest DSL tech support.

My call was answered by some git in Mumbai or Calcutta or some damn place like that, and the flaming idiot simply couldn't understand that I'd already tried everything that his book of troubleshooting scripts called for. Nor did he grasp the concept that I was running something other than MS Windows. When I finally got fed up with dealing with him (along about the fourth attempt to walk me through the Windows modem setup), I went off on him and demanded a supervisor.

Well, she wasn't any kind of improvement -- she was equally adamant that I simply had to go through the script(s), and kept telling me that I had to do this or that so that we could configure the modem. It didn't take me long to lose patience with her (the third time she asked me what version of Windows I was using, despite me already telling her that I run Linux, and declaring that we needed to get my ISP online so we could input the modem settings). Slowly, carefully, and using a calm voice and small words in the hope that she'd understand, I told her that I was through screwing around with them -- that if she didn't authorize a replacement modem right then, the call was over and that I'd be raising hell with Qwest customer support on Monday (useless bastards are closed nights and weekends, of course). She said that all we had to do was input the modem settings. I asked how we were going to do that when I'd already told them several times that I couldn't get INTO the modem to set it up, and that I wasn't using Windows, which was the only thing they knew how to use to configure it. After several seconds of deafening silence, she tried to tell me (again!) that they could see the modem, so all it needed was to be configured. That was all it took for me to tell her that she was an idiot and hang up.

Come Monday morning, some poor soul at Qwest is going to learn that aggravating me is not a Good Thing To Do. For starters, I'm going to ream that person about the blazing incompetence, idiocy, and ineptitude of their alleged "tech support". Then I'm going to let them know that if they can't/won't get me back online by end-of-business Tuesday (the next day), then my first call Wednesday morning will be to sign up with Bresnan for cable, digital phone, and Internet -- and closing my Qwest account.

Back before they became Qwest, the company was U.S. West -- or as people liked to call them, U.S. Worst. I think an appropriate nickname for them now is Qworst.

Anyway, it looks like I'm going to be offline for the next couple of days, except for the infrequent visit to a local coffee shop...

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