Giant Noisy Cat-Eater

I haven't been happy with my "old" vacuum cleaner (isn't "vacuum cleaner" a misnomer? I mean, by definition, isn't a vacuum already clean?), and got a shiny new one with a couple of additional features some time ago. It isn't a heavy-duty industrial strength job, but that's okay - my apartment is less that 500 square feet, and only a little more than half of that is carpeted.

Today, I took it out on its maiden voyage and commenced to discover that the old machine had left behind enough cat hair that I could easily make a whole new cat if I wanted to. The spiffy attachments for it also made short work of previously troublesome areas. For the price, I'm rather pleased with it.

The cats, however, were considerably less than impressed with it. Elf took station at the farthest point in my apartment from it, while Radar sought refuge in the bathtub (!). It took a good twenty minutes before either of them was willing to see if the Giant Noisy Cat-Eater had gone away, and both of them are still a bit skittish.

The Top 10 Things You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support

10.) "So... what are you wearing?"
9.) "Duuuuude! Bummer!"
8.) "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."
7.) "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."
6.) "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery."
5.) "I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."
4.) "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."
3.) "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"
2.) "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."
1.) "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."

Where the fuck is Max?

During the current recess for Congress (bearing an uncanny resemblance to recess for grade-schoolers), half of our Senatorial allotment is actually out among the public, actively soliciting input from the folks that voted him into office.

The other half -- HMFIC of the Finance Committee, Max Baucus -- has yet to turn up at any similar kind of venue. After all the sturm und drang of the healthcare reform process, a body might think he'd have some interest in knowing what his constituents have to say -- but it's tough to tell, since we haven't heard anything from or about him.

Thus, my question above...

I think America is screwed.

Since even before the Presidential elections, I've been thinking off and on about politicians, the political system, the parties, voters and non-voters, and a bunch of other related stuff.
I'm still trying to get it all neatly organized and arranged in my mind, but thought I'd take this opportunity to toss out a few of the things that seem most pertinent to me.

• We don't seem to have a whole lot of political involvement by the teeming masses of citizens. The ones most likely to consistently vote are those of advanced years, with a significant drop in percentage of active voters as one goes down the age scale. The way I see it, this is perfectly reasonable: older citizens are still of the mind that their votes actually count for something, because they were raised to believe in the government (they're the ones that the old "We're from the government, and we're here to help" was effective on). However, as the years have passed since those folks were young, the American public has been treated to innumerable reports of government ineptitude, incompetence, malfeasance, outright chicanery of different kinds, and generally been given plenty of reason to be suspicious and mistrustful of our elected officials. Amusingly, it's a Catch-22: people don't vote because nothing changes, and nothing changes because people don't vote.
• Another reason that things don't change is because too many people have gotten too damn lazy to maintain the kind of on-going pressure needed to effect change. This year's Teabaggers? See how many of them are still around after this coming November. Or February next year.
  
• Related to the above is the fact that we have what amounts to a professional politician class. Does anybody really believe that some putz that has spent the last 20+ years in Congress has any concept of what it's like for an ordinary citizen? Particularly when those politicians grant themselves perquisites that distance them even more from real Americans? It's funny that damn near every poll on the subject comes back with the result that most folks think all the rascals in Congress need to be voted out of office - except for their own, of course. Um... people? Everybody in the other 49 states feels the same way about YOUR Concresscritters, too. If we really believed in "majority rule", then in every state, it's 49-to-1 that your Congressrodents need to go... so how about it, huh?
• There's also a growing sense of entitlement among the American people. Part of this is from our professional politicians enacting giveaways in an effort to stay in office, but it's also the fault of those that are all too willing to make demands of the government instead of taking responsibility for themselves and their actions. And as long as they CAN get their demands met, they'll keep at it; unfortunately, there's a hell of a lot more people (mostly younger ones) that are willing to claim what they haven't earned than there are ones willing to tell them "no".
• Our election process is seriously skewed due (in part) to the insistence on continuing to use the Electoral College system, where a few states with high E.C. vote counts can essentially take control of how an election turns out. Sure, the E.C. made great sense when the fastest and most efficient means of communicating and tallying election results for a large area was a hand-written page carried by someone riding a good horse; these days, we've got the means and methods to make truly representative and popular vote possible. How about if we drag our voting system into the technology age?
  
• Something else that screws up the election process is those incompetent jackasses that are referred to as "single-issue voters": the ones that vote a candidate or party for just ONE reason, instead of taking the time and making the effort to consider a broader range of matters and integrating them as a WHOLE. Screw the budget, screw the deficit, screw too much government involvement in our lives, screw too-high taxes, screw anything except the one, single thing that matters to a particular voter the most. Look, if someone is going to vote just to make themselves heard on one issue in particular? Do the country a favor and chain them to something immovable. Preferably heavy, and in the middle of a deep body of water.
  
• The political process is being seriously fucked up by the limitation of having just two political parties - every single issue boils down to "us" or "them", which is steadily polarizing them more and more. I genuinely believe that the country needs at least one or two additional political entities so as to allow a more diverse and nuanced response to various issues. Speaking for myself, for example, I'm neither Republican nor Democrat, but bits of both: I'm socially liberal (Gay marriage? Knock yourselves out. Abortion? Sorry, I don't have a dog in that fight; but I'm in favor of leaving it up to those that CAN get pregnant to decide for themselves), but fiscally and politically conservative (Government should be as small as we can possibly manage, kept on a DAMN short leash, and made to pay as it goes along - NO DEFICITS!).

The reason I'm so pessimistic about America's future is really pretty simple: to effect ANY changes in the above will require a sustained interest and effort - and I don't think there enough people in the country able and willing to do it. Sure, there's plenty to cheer at the rallies, but damn few that will stick around afterwards to help clean up. Simply put, there aren't many people left that are interested in taking on a long-term project and capable of engaging in the day-to-day grind needed to make the changes happen.

What happens, then?

The way I figure it, most likely to happen is that the country will just collapse. There will be more and more people demanding (and getting) benefits from fewer and fewer people able and willing to provide them; the government will step in to make up the difference. Except that sooner or later, somebody (most likely a foreign government [*cough*china*cough*] that has bought our T-Bills or other "stock") is going to decide that it's time to get paid what they're owed - and when they don't get it (because the government doesn't have it), the whole bread-and-circuses deal will fall apart - with much anguish, furor, and unseemliness when our economy and political institutions come to a literal halt.

There is a chance that some group(s) of people will decide that enough is enough and attempt some dramatic change in how government operates - and it might even be big and soon enough to have the desired impact. Otherwise, it's only going to be a relatively minor event that won't appreciably change things.

I just hope it doesn't happen until after I'm dead and buried - it's bad enough just watching this much of it happen.

Spare Time

Think some people have too much time on their hands? You ain't seen nothin' yet - check out the Sashimi Tabernacle Choir, courtesy of the Presurfer:

Problem solving

Just finished watching "Die Hard With a Vengeance" (the one with Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson), and noticed that the director did a piss-poor job of showing how McCain and Zeus got the 4 gallons of water into a 5 gallon jug when the only other container was a 3 gallon jug. So for the benefit of any math- or logic-impaired out there, here's how it works:

1. Fill 3-gallon container.
2. Empty 3-gallon into 5-gallon
3. Refill 3-gallon
4. Pour into 5-gallon until it's full.
5. [3-g now contains 1 gallon: filled twice with 3 gallons (steps 1 and 3), emptied of 3 gallons once (step 2), then emptied of 2 gallons (step 4)]
6. Empty 5-gallon.
7. Pour rest of 3-gallon into 5-gallon.
8. Fill 3-gallon, empty into 5-gallon
9. [5-g now contains 4 gallons: 1 gallon (step 7) + 3 gallons (step 8)]

Simple, no?

inCENSUSed

Got my 2010 Census form in today's mail. Thankfully for all concerned, it was the short form. Still, there were a few troubling things that I dealt with appropriately:

• They wanted my phone number: "We may call if we don't understand an answer". Tough shit; should've made the question clearer.
• Last and first names. Pbbbbbbbbbbbt! Don't need this to count me.
• My race. I'm not White (more of a pale tan), Black/African Am./Negro (um... aren't those all the same thing?), American Indian or Alaskan Native, Asian Indian, Japanese, Native Hawaiian (last time I checked, even the original inhabitants were imported. No?), Chinese, Korean, Guamanian or Chamorro, Filipino, Vietnamese, Other Pacific Islander (to be specified), Other Asian (to be specified), or some other race. Screw it - I'm Human.

Other than space for an additional 11 people the might be in the household, that was it.

Oh, and here's something amusing: the FIRST question was the number of people in the place; question TWO was if there were any additional people not included in question one. WTF?

It's not pr0n, otherwise...

PayPal update

Oh, goody, goody, goody. After reading a couple of documents about PayPal that I retrieved from Cryptome, I've got some more good news for anyone with a PayPal account.

Per official PayPal doctrine, PayPal cheerfully helps law enforcement retrieve information about PayPal users:

B. eBay User Contact Details and limited transaction history (12 months maximum)
Please submit a signed fax (non-subpoena) on department letterhead stating specifically what you require.
eBay can provide the following information for users under investigation of illegal activity only:
• Contact Name, City, State, Zip, and Telephone Number
• All email addresses and eBay User ID's added to account with date/time stamps
• eBay Fraud complaints (*lf Requested)
• Account listing/bid history dating back one year (*lf Requested)
To assist us in searching for records, the following data must be included in your data request (if available):
- All known names, aliases, street addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers
- Known eBay ID(s) and Item Numbers
- Statement relating to the illegal nature of the activities being investigated
Please fax data request to: Fax: 408.967.9915 Turnaround Time: Typically within 15 business days

It's worth noting that PayPal doesn't require any actual proof or evidence of any wrongdoing; it's enough for them that whatever law enforcement organization that's making the request says there is.

It's even worse if the cops actually take the time and trouble to get a subpoena.

If you're so inclined, you can read the whole document on how PayPal interfaces with cops in this document.

If you want to see what you agreed to when you set up an account with them, this is what you're looking for.

PayPal - Stupid or Criminal?

I haven't been exactly overjoyed with PayPal, even from the time I first signed up with them. It hasn't been any one thing in particular, but more of a general we're-too-big-to-have-to-pay-attention-to-you attitude almost any really large organization eventually takes on.

Over the years, I've also heard (and read about) the stories of PayPal summarily and somewhat arbitrarily freezing accounts without ever providing any real explanation as to why, how it could be resolved, when it would be resolved, or other actual details. Recently, however, I ran across this story, and something about it just set my teeth on edge.

Since the only thing I really used PayPal for was buying stuff on eBay, and eBay has finally managed to aggravate me sufficiently enough to close my account with them, it seemed like as good a time (and reason) as any to close my PayPal account, too. A couple of days ago, I tried to do just that - only to be told by PayPal that there was some kind of activity still unfinished with my bank.

Fine, whatever. The last eBay purchase I made was on the 6th, and I've already received the item, so I figured PayPal would get caught up in the next couple of days. This evening, when I logged in and tried to close the account, I still got the same message. After carefully checking that all my transactions showed as "completed", I called PayPal support.

For the love of God, Cthulu, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Allah, or anything else you hold dear, don't ever do that. Their automated voice response system is seriously fucked up. After telling me that it couldn't understand me (despite my speaking carefully and clearly) after too-brief response periods, it insisted on trying to foist me off to departments that were completely irrelevant to what I wanted to discuss. Having no other alternative, I simply started pressing "O" until it concluded I wasn't playing nice and handed me off to the generic WTF line. Cindy, or Sue, or whatever the hell her name was kept saying "Bayble" for PayPal (among other language and accent defects), necessitating I ask for someone that actually spoke English.

The young fellow I ended up with was actually helpful, and tried to explain to me how, although PayPal was telling ME that everything was "completed", it really wasn't: that the requisite time (3 to 5 business days) hadn't passed between my last PayPal-based purchase, and the removal of funds from my bank. Strictly speaking, "completed" on MY end actually sometimes meant "still processing" on THEIR end. In response to that, I suggested that if that was the case, then either PayPal didn't know what it was doing by telling me that the transaction was complete, or it was deliberately lying to me - and asked which it was. He was unable to answer that question, and elected to explain the situation again. Just as he did when I asked additional questions that he didn't have answers for.

The bottom line is that I'm likely to have to wait until Saturday before their computer decides that it has received the $2.25 in question, and it's okay for me to close my account.

I would suggest that anyone with a PayPal account have a look at the things that PayPal has done, and decide if they really want to entrust their money with such an operation.

Oh, and just to make SURE everyone understands: PayPal is not a bank, it is a "payment processor". In other words, they are not subject to all those nifty banking regulations about access to your money, business practises, and the like. Caveat Emptor!