Return of the DimTwitties

Some may recall that a few months ago, I had a little 'adventure' with the gits from the U.S. Census -- they wanted to know about me, and I didn't want to tell them. The dipstick that kept sending letters, informational brochures, and stopping by in the hope that I'd cooperate finally gave up -- or so I thought.

I've received Official Notification that they're finishing up whatever temporary 'So, how's life been treating you?' metric, and that they'll be visiting again.

Since I didn't tell them anything in the first place, I kinda figured somebody would have had sense enough to remove my address from their list: I mean, they told me the first go around was to set a 'reference' for a second visit that would see how things had changed over the past few months. When I didn't cooperate the first time, that should have pretty much put the kibosh on them coming back -- even if I answered their questions THIS time, they don't have any way of knowing what kind of change those answers represented.

On top of that kind of beaurocratic stupidity, the dipshit that I drew as my contact point decided to be a smart-ass by leaving a 'cute' comment on the paperwork he left on my door while I was out of my apartment. That, in and of itself, was enough to convince me to not only not answer their questions again, but to be rude (and possibly profane) when the jackass turns up again. I'll be making it clear, in no uncertain terms, that not only am I not going to answer any of their questions, but that I'm highly annoyed that they can't/won't take 'NO!' for an answer - and that even if I did answer, I'd respond with an outrageous lie to everything they asked.

Think they'll finally get the hint?

Catitude

A few weeks ago, I finally broke down and got my owner, Elf, a cat tree - purely in 'self-defense'.

Of course, once it was assembled an put in place, Elf wasn't quite sure what to make of it; it actually took a week of me picking her up and petting her before easing her onto one of the shelves before she was willing to start climbing up on it herself.


Weird as Elf is, I wasn't all that sure that she'd have any interest in anything like that, or whether or not she'd ever actually use it. Consequently, I didn't buy anything too elaborate or expensive; the one I got is just a basic pole with 3 horizontal shelves equally spaced between the floor and ceiling. The shelves themselves aren't that big - but Elf seems to find them acceptable, even though she does overflow them a bit.


Still, it's a major improvement over the way that she used to prefer to find a spot to nap: jumping up onto my lap, then contriving to lay down on my chest or belly, and curling up -- despite the fact that I had to support her so that she didn't begin to slide off (and use her claws to hold herself in place):

Indigestion

I think I may have discovered a new cause of indigestion in people.

The other night, as I was preparing my supper (a cheeseburger and some 'waffle' fries), I noticed that one of the fries was different than the others. That was when I realized that one cause of indigestion might be Food with an Attitude:

Incomplete voting

That's the end result of my visit to my local polling place this morning.

There were a number of situations where I didn't like any of the choices offered to me on the ballot (most notably the Presidential contest), so I simply declined to vote for any of them. I did, however, cast votes for those offices where the options didn't make me want to hold my nose...

Thinking that the vote-counting machinery (we use fill-in-the-circle ballots) might puke, I carefully penciled in a brief note (in an unused area of the ballot) stating that the blank spots were deliberate.

This whole electoral college, delegates, superdelegates, and assorted flim-flamery undoubtedly made sense back when transportation and communications were slow and unreliable; but in these days of jet aircraft, radios, the Internet, and all the rest... I think it's time we re-thought the whole process with an eye toward updating it to more accurately represent the desires of the people actually casting the votes.

An Open Letter

3. June 2008

Sen. John Tester
204 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510-2604


Sir:
A bit of research I did for a blog post on the size of government revealed that there is a higher number of federal employees, as a function of total U.S. population, now than ever before in the history of the United States. Using numbers from official Government documents, I learned that back in 1946 there was a Federal employee for every 51 citizens; as of 1999, that number had changed to a Federal employee for ever 21 people.
Naturally enough, that simple bit of information prompted me to ask myself “Are we getting twice as much help from the government as we were back then?” Immediately following that was the question “How do I tell?”
Those two small, simple questions started me on a small personal quest for knowledge that has lasted the better part of a month, and involved no small amount of effort – to no avail.
Instead, what I have discovered is that it is virtually impossible to tell (except at the most cursory level) just how much of what any particular government agency or department is doing, at what cost, for anything but brief periods of time. By way of illustration, let me use the Department of Veterans Affairs:

• Over the course of 7 years, the VA changed the formatting of its budget reports no less than 3 times, making it nigh impossible to do any kind of comparison.
• There is no indication that the VA has ever undergone any kind of outside audit of its operations. Its budget is reviewed and certified by an outside accounting agency, but the basis of those numbers is less than obvious.
• It is considerably less than straightforward to determine the (relative) efficiency of the VA from its budget. Only gross accounting of the numbers of people assisted is provided, with virtually no added detail available.
• The little bit of self-analysis the VA does of its operations reveals that the VA isn't even meeting its own self-assigned goals.

Evidence of these facts is amply demonstrated in the VAs own annual reports, available online at http://www.va.gov/budget/report/2007/index.htm, and the previous years budgets (linked at the bottom of the page linked). In checking other government agencies (DOE, EPA, and HUD, among others), I found that the VA is fairly typical in this regard.
While there is some small amount of information available courtesy of such sites as ExpectMore.gov, USAspending.gov, and even the OMB, there is still a noteworthy lack of accountability demonstrated or expressed by government agencies and offices. Again, to use the VA as an example:

• How many veterans are receiving medical care? What is the cost of that care, both in terms of personnel and drugs? How much of the budget is spent on medical professionals, versus desk jockeys?
• How many veterans are receiving educational assistance? How much are these veterans receiving in direct disbursement, versus how much is being spent on administration?
• How does the VA decide what facilities go where? Is there a VA medical facility of X square feet and Y people for every Z veterans?
• What other government agencies and entities does the VA routinely deal with? Are those interactions as streamlined and efficient as possible?
• How does the VA decide what services to provide in a particular area, versus contracting them out? (e.g. Who decides that it's acceptable for a veteran to travel 200+ miles [Billings to Ft. Harrison; 6 hours travel time plus $140 travel expenses] for an eye exam, versus paying $50-75 to a local optician?)

Similar questions could – and should – be asked of virtually every government office and agency: as Abraham Lincoln so ably put it, government should be “of the people, by the people, and for the people” – and government employees frittering away money they've been entrusted with on such things as luxury conferences at a Hilton hotel in Hawaii when that conference could more economically have been held at a Holiday Inn in Indianapolis is not (and should not be) acceptable by any stretch of the imagination.
Considering how much the government has grown in the last 60 years, I think it would also be worthwhile to start asking the various agencies to justify some of what they do: on the ExpectMore.gov website, they have a page (actually, FIVE pages) of the least-effective programs in the Federal bureaucracy; by their calculation, twenty-eight percent of Federal programs are inefficient or not demonstrating the desired results.
Senator, you were elected to office on the premise that you were just a 'regular guy' that wanted to try to get Washington straightened out. Have you become ensnared by the system you went there to fix? Now that you're IN Washington, has your opinion of government inefficiency and waste changed from how you felt on your farm?
I shall look forward to receiving your response to this letter; particularly whether that response is of the generic 'canned' variety, or includes actual facts and details.


Sincerely,



David K. Merriman

I am (in)famous

I recently made a brief submission to a local weekly newspaper, the Outpost.

My article -- for the Science and Technology section, a monthly feature -- was accepted, and published in yesterdays edition.

Go on over and have a look at the mischief I got into, see what passes for news here in Billings, and help boost their online viewage numbers :-)

Why women live longer than men

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy.

If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet . .. its male indifference.

If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you don't ... you're an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you ... she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert. If you don't ...you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape .. you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers .. you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If you don't ... you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache .. you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't ... there must be someone else.


Any questions?

Teh suXXor

Gag. Retch. Bleaaaaaargggggh.

Got a call this evening; when I went to answer the phone, caller ID displayed a 202 area code. WTF?

When I answered, the putz on the other end says he's calling about Hillary Clinton.

Deciding to do my part in preserving Life, Liberty, and The American Way, I readily engaged in a conversation with him -- what with him calling long distance 3/4 of the way across the country, why not piss away some of their campaign funding to no purpose?

I let him run his little spiel, but at every opportunity, made it sound as though I still wasn't sure who I'd vote for. Along the way, I asked a few 'pointed' questions ("This universal healthcare thing... who's gonna pay for it? And HOW?", "If Hillary was just 'tired' when she said that bit about Bosnian snipers, how good is she gonna be when she gets that 3:00 a.m. phone call?", and not settling for generic answers), as well.

All told, I probably managed to fart around with the asshole for half an hour before letting him off the hook -- by telling him something that I suggested elsewhere.

I'm only being half-joking about wanting Ralph Nader for President. Better a complete (and obvious) moonbat like Ralphie Boy than Hillary...

Link dump

Here's just a bunch of assorted links to things that I found interesting, humorous, or 'other'.

Knock yerselves out.

Light pole bites dog.

I don't think they teach this shit in medical school.

These goodies put 'Yo momma' to shame.

Just how dumb were you as a kid?

The real popularity of Paris Hilton.

These gangs don't quite measure up to 'Hells Angels' standards.


If that's not enough, don't forget to check out some videos.

Memorial Day

To all those that have served, and given their lives, thank you.

Rest in Peace, brothers, Rest in Peace.