How to lose customers and win enemies...

Back on March 31st, I placed an online order with a company that I've done business with before -- an outfit called All Electronics that sells surplus and discount "stuff": mostly electronics components, but also the odd bit of gimcrackery (miniature tripods, cell phone cases, and the like). It wasn't a big order, coming out to a grand total of $30.
The confirmation email I got from them consisted of two lines of text: one line said "Plain text email", and the other simply said "customer invoice". I immediately responded by adding a series of question marks to the end:

On Tuesday 31 March 2009 15:46:57 you wrote:
> Plain text email
> customer invoice
??????

I never heard anything back from them.

This past Sunday (5 April), I checked my order status on their website, and it was shown to be "Processing". I sent their customer service email address a brief note, asking for clarification:

From:
Dave Merriman (A loose affiliation of sub-atomic particles)
To:
allcorp@allcorp.com
Date:
2009-04-05 09:56

Signed by dkmerriman@gmail.com. Show Details
I'm curious to know why my order ( W448808 ) hasn't shipped yet.

No answer.

Yesterday, the 7th, I tried again:

From:
Dave Merriman (A loose affiliation of sub-atomic particles)
To:
allcorp@allcorp.com
Date:
2009-04-07 11:36

Signed by dkmerriman@gmail.com. Show Details
I would be interested in knowing why my order # W448808 is still showing a
status of "Processing". This is a second request for an update.

David Merriman

I gave them (roughly) 24 hours to respond before sending the following:

From:
Dave Merriman (A loose affiliation of sub-atomic particles)
To:
XXXXX@allcorp.com [person I'm given to understand is the HMFIC]
Date:
2009-04-08 11:12

Signed by dkmerriman@gmail.com. Show Details
Since placing an order (W448808) on 31 March, I have noted that the status on
it continues to show that it is "Processing".
On April 5th (and again yesterday, the 7th), I sent an email to the customer
service address, politely asking why my order hadn't shipped yet. As I have
received no response of ANY kind, I see no reason to continue thinking that
your company wishes to actually sell me the products, you may cancel the
order. You may also take my name off your mailing list, as I will not be
troubling you by trying to purchase anything from your company in the future.

David Merriman
Billings, MT

What I got back was:

From:
"YYYY"
To:
dkmerriman@gmail.com
Date:
2009-04-08 13:04

Spam Status: Bogofilter 0% probability of being spam.

Full report:
Ham, tests=bogofilter, spamicity=0.000000, version=1.1.7
Dear Mr. Merriman:

We are sorry for not responding to your emails; unfortunately they are
answered at the first available opportunity.

In regard to your web order we have researched this matter and found
that your order was not processed properly causing this delay. If you
would like to give us a chance to rectify this problem, we will gladly
send out your package 2nd day UPS at only the standard $7.00 cost. Or we
can ship standard if you prefer at no charge for shipping.

We hope you give us the change to resolve this matter to your
satisfaction.

We are sorry for the inconvenience.

Sincerely,

YYYY [name of drone that (apparently) screwed up]

And I responded with:

From:
Dave Merriman (A loose affiliation of sub-atomic particles)
To:
"YYYY"
CC:
XXXXX@allcorp.com [HMFIC]
Date:
2009-04-08 13:42

Signed by dkmerriman@gmail.com. Show Details
On Wednesday 08 April 2009 13:04:57 you wrote:
> Dear Mr. Merriman:
>
> We are sorry for not responding to your emails; unfortunately they are
> answered at the first available opportunity.
>
> In regard to your web order we have researched this matter and found
> that your order was not processed properly causing this delay.

That isn't going to fly, even a little bit. After I finished placing the order,
I got a "confirmation" email from you that simply said "Plain text email" and
"customer invoice". I responded as indicated:

-----------------------------------
From:
Dave Merriman (A loose affiliation of sub-atomic
particles)
To:
All Electronics
Date:
2009-03-31 15:52

Signed by dkmerriman@gmail.com. Show Details
On Tuesday 31 March 2009 15:46:57 you wrote:
> Plain text email
> customer invoice
??????
---------------------------

As you can see, the SAME DAY I placed the order, you were given some
indication that something was awry -- and did nothing about it.

> If you
> would like to give us a chance to rectify this problem, we will gladly
> send out your package 2nd day UPS at only the standard $7.00 cost. Or we
> can ship standard if you prefer at no charge for shipping.

I would like the order canceled, and my name removed from your mailing list.

They essentially had no less than three chances to address the problem, and availed themselves of none of them. Too farookin' late now...

And that's all I've got to say about that...