Saturday, August 16, 2008

Why, yes, I AM an asshole...

Of late, I've been getting phone calls for someone whose phone number is similar (off by 1 digit) to mine. Thing is, the phone calls are from a credit collection agency, and (to their credit) they're persistent buggers.

The first few times, I tried -- patiently -- to explain to them that they had the wrong person/phone, but they seem to have taken the attitude that I'm simply lying to them: that I'm actually the person they're trying to reach.

As the calls have continued, I've gotten more and more enthusiastic about letting them know that I'm not the right person; they remain unconvinced.

At least, I think, until this morning.

Shortly after 10:00, I got another call from the putzes asking to speak to Mr. H_____. Having finally had enough of their nonsense, I calmly (but pointedly, profanely, and insultingly) began to let the person on the other end know what I thought of him, his company, collection agencies, and so on. When I was done, he tried to complain that I shouldn't be speaking to him that way -- that he was simply trying to collect a debt that was willingly incurred, and that the company that was owed the money deserved to be paid.

I responded (remaining rude, profane, and insulting) that that was all well and good, IF they were calling the person that actually owed the money; but that since they weren't, and had thus far refused to correct their error, I was entitled to address them in any manner I wished -- and that I would not only continue, but get even worse as long as they continued calling me.

At that point, a stupidvisor got on the line, and tried to give me a ration of shit about how and what I was saying. Bad move on her part.

I demonstrated to her, in no uncertain terms, that she was wrong: not only could I be more offensive and disgusting toward them, but that I would. I finished my little spiel by asking her what her job title was. After a bit of confusion, she managed to tell me that she was a "Debt Collection Specialist". I responded by asking her if she'd ever considered going into another line of work -- one with more status and prestige. Cautiously, she asked what I meant, and I calmly suggested that she might consider a career change to something like prostitution or dealing drugs.

After several seconds, SHE hung up on ME. :-)

We'll see if there are any more calls from the idiot jackasses.


david said...

Bravo! I'll try the same thing next time one of those annoying collectors calls my phone looking for someone else.

Randy said...

So, have they called back?

Dave said...

Not yet - I think that I *may* have convinced them that (repeatedly) calling ME when they're after someone else was Not A Good Thing To Do. :-)