Adventures at Wally World

I made one of my infrequent forays into Wal*Mart today, and finished the experience with mixed reactions caused by:

• Somebody's little cookie-cruncher running amok when it's mother captured it, gave it a swat on the backside, and relocated it to a cage (well, the shopping cart, but...).
• A herd of water buffalo having a confab -- not just in the middle of the big main highway that circles the inside of the store, but located so that there wasn't any easy/convenient way around them. Demonstrating the patience, tact, and courtesy that I'm widely renowned for, I tried a couple of (progressively stronger) "Excuse me!"s before resorting to asking them "Would you dumbasses mind taking it somewhere else so the rest of us can get through here?". They didn't seem to appreciate my forbearance...
  
• After departing the store, I was obliged to putter along in my car behind the couple of shitbirds that felt compelled to wander down the middle of the parking lot lane.